Thinklings

Forwarding Address

2006-07-05T12:04:00.000-07:00

Shazorg! (Another Baby)

2006-06-23T21:08:00.000-07:00

Mina had a baby again. Ava Livingston (Forgive me, Bird, I know I've misspelled it.) Born the 16th of June.
I am busy. And tired. But onward and upward. There is food in the fridge for me, so that is nice.
On July 9th. I am speaking/preaching to my church. Hopefully I won't make a career out of this.
My arm hurts. It's sore or something. VBS was this week and it was fun. Now I find food.

ZAP!

2006-06-12T16:53:00.000-07:00

Apparently Stacy made a deal with the creators of Homestar Runner. If I don't update my blog, then they don't upadate their site. Sorry to all the fans that have been waiting the past month.
So here's a blog. . .Come on Homestar!

Harrison and Trina's baby arrived on the 9th o' june. Almost a 6/6/6 baby. Jeremiah Harrison. What a great name. Woohoo! I am an uncle again! I can't wait to see him. again I will be the last to see my nephew. This happened before as some of you recall.
Stacy and I are 47 days away from bledded wiss. Um . . . I am going to leave that.

So I am thinking about doing my blog on wordpress.

out.

Now With Shirts

2006-05-11T14:47:00.000-07:00

So I have found a good way to make shirts online. If you have liked my shirts in the past and would like to get some more just go to potato.spreadshirt.com.
Hope you enjoy. I hope you buy lots of shirts.

Much love.

Monterey County Weekly

2006-04-19T16:00:00.000-07:00

For those that wanted to read an article about me...
Here.

Rest

2006-04-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and You will find rest for your souls. ForMy yoke is easy and My burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30

Fatigued

2006-04-14T21:02:00.000-07:00

I guess I am just really tired of Christians bashing other Christians. The simple subtle ways they mention news reports or articles about what the latest "Christian" is doing or not doing. In blaming them for being dogmatic we have created our own dogma. We have built a high horse and it is rolling into to New Troy. Sneaking in in plain sight comes this new wave of thought that says it is not exceptable to think homosexuality is wrong, or that it is not a shame that kids are aborted, (and the like) but that it is entirely fine to, with gospel truth news rooms facts, come out with accusations about how other Christians are getting it wrong. We sit behind computer screens and diligently type away at how some other "Christian" gives us a bad name. It has become our new crusade. What cowards we have become. As wrong as it was for the Crusaders to swing blades for their misidentified cause at least they had the courage to die for it. But we hide here behind digital walls of ambiguity, claiming tolerance, dressing it as love but underneath it's our very own cowardice that keeps us from making bold claims. Must we add a dimmer switch to every light? Can we not make claims about what we believe? Do we not see that we are in a world that hates us? I think we have deluded ourselves into thinking that if we are nice to the world it will love us. If we follow Jesus the world will hate us. There will come a time when our governmental laws don't allow for the openness that we have in our faith now. When I fight for the right for any Christian (or any person) to say what they feel, regardless of how mean spirited it may be, I fight for the lines of communication to stay open and not be muddled down with sappy words of dubiety. G. K. Chesterton said, "Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions." You might say to me, "Taylor (or T.C.) I have convictions, but I can still tolerate." To that I say, "You are convicted that you are tolerant that is why you couldn't tolerate me saying that you had no convictions." And you might say, "Didn't Jesus teach tolerance?" No. He taught love. And love is not always tolerating. So then you could say, " Hey man, all I am doing is pointing out a flaw I see in Christian society, in order that we may learn to be more like Jesus in loving people." What about loving those Christians that are shallow in their beliefs, the ones that we are all so quick to think as pharisees? "Well Jesus spoke out againist religious leaders that had it wrong, that is just what I am doing." No. Jesus had the sand to speak to the faces of those that were using God's law in order to be rulers of sorts. Have I ever had the courage to to speak to a modern day pharisee to let them know that they have it wrong? Have I ever even written a letter to someone that is being unloving before I use the as example of my new Discovery Channel show, "What Not to Be Like ...as a Christian." (didn't really work out though.) When I see all these "other Christians" getting it wrong it just keeps my eyes off of two things: The person that is really getting it wrong, and the Person that has already gotten it right. Good night.

Roy's Ramblings

2006-03-27T09:19:00.000-08:00

My soon-to-be father in-law has started his own blog: Mini Musings. I know that everyone (and by everyone I mean literaly everyone on this planet) is interested in knowing what kind of family I am marrying into. Now, with my permission, you may have that chance. What's that you say? You say you don't need my permission? Hmm, I see. Well, I will allow you to continue to think that. Ahem. You may go now... if you wish.

Long Time Coming

2006-03-17T19:11:00.000-08:00

Dear faithful followers,
Man, that sounds egotistical. I just wanted to drop this little blog to let you know that i am still alive. No, I have not given up blogging. I just find that wedding planning and other junk is a lot of work. But that is ok. I have another article in the "Fool" and I did a phone interview with someone at Monterey County Weekly, but there is no certainty that anything about my humble greatness will go in there. Presently, I am getting ready for Pre-wedding Garage sale ... of justice.

Eat Chick-fil-a. Because it isn't made from children.

Love,
Guy Somethington

I Love Stacy

2006-02-12T00:37:00.000-08:00

and I don't care who knows it.

Wharg!

2006-02-07T18:22:00.000-08:00

Yep. So i have been busy. I haven't really returned anyone's emails (sorry, Mandy).
Everyone checkout this song/video/cartoon/awesome/thing, JCB.
I have another book signing. soon.
i'm trying to get wedding stuff ready.
arg. not about wedding stuff, just about being busy.
Harrison, you need to write more.
An excerpt of my book was published for "The Fool" check out february 2006 when it gets up.
It isn't the greatest, but at least it is something.

piece

of pie.

Jean Luc Picard

2006-01-20T09:22:00.000-08:00

Captain Picard was the Captain in StarTrek: The Next Generation. (I used to watch it when I was going through Chemo, so why don't you make fun of me for having cancer, too. ) Anyway, before they would travel he would say, "Engage." And then someone would do whatever.
There is supposed to be a better segue here, about me getting engaged to Stacy, but there is not.
On Saturday the 14th of January in a private indoor picnic for two, I asked Stacy to marry me. She nodded. Which I am going to take for a, "YES!"
We have 190 days. There are many things to do. And there are somethings things that we don't want to do that have to be done anyway.

Wedding: July 29th 2006.

More to come.

Long Time No Blog

2006-01-11T18:38:00.000-08:00

I have been getting complaints that I haven't blogged much. Sorry.
I just got off work so I am pretty tired. I had an amazing thought about God, us, our void, and his infinity over the past few days. Yes it was one thought over a few days. I'll have to tell you later, but the thought started when I was talking to my kids in the youthgroup; we were having an extended prayertime/discussion because a friend of some of the kids commited suicide. He was in 7th grade.
man.

Last Blog...Ever!

2005-12-31T09:15:00.000-08:00

For this year. Maybe. As this year draws to a close, I'd like to say something profound.
But I think that is what tons of bloggers will be doing; looking back on this year with bittersweet regret and sorrow-minded joy. And I bet a lot of bloggers will say the something like, "I would say something profound, but tons of other bloggers will be doing it."

Post

2005-12-30T09:13:00.000-08:00

I haven't written in a while. Sorry.
Um. Christmas was great. How was yours?
Tomorrow will be new years eve. Can you believe how fast this year has flown?

The Most Beautiful of Days.

2005-12-19T12:26:00.000-08:00

Over three weeks I have been talking to "my students" about The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. This is what I am going to talk about tonight.

The past few days have been really dreary. The have been cold and wet. Well they have been cold of Monterey weather. I guess 55 degrees isn’t really that cold, but it has been something that is not common around here. For the most part I really like the rainy weather. I like those days when I can grab a heavy blanket and get some hot cocoa, or hot coffee, and read. It really makes for a wonderful day especially when I don’t have to go out in the weather.

I remember in January of 96 (or something), when I was still living in Georgia we had the crazy blizzard. In Georgia it does get really cold and it kind of snows but they normally get “snow flurries.” People in Georgia are crazy. If they even some much as see one single snow flake it’s like the land will be covered in snow, and everyone has got to stock up on food. If you walk into any store when it is snow flurrying, you will find there is no milk. Everyone has taken it. Like milk will save them.

Anyway, in January of 96 (or something) there was a huge blizzard. Snow was everywhere, school was closed. It was great. The first day everyone was out playing in the snow, making snowmen and have snowball fights, and sledding. Then we’d go inside and sit by a nice warm fire and have hot chocolate, or soup, or lava. Something nice and warm. Day two was alright. More sledding, and snowball fights, but we weren’t outside even half as long as the day before. Lips began to crack, and bleed because of the cold, and faces were burned by cold gusts of wind. It wasn’t fun at all. And this blizzard lasted about a week. What made it worse was it was after Christmas. When it snows near Christmas it is awesome. There are lights, and decorations, and grandparents, and food, and presents, and music. The snow adds that something amazing. You know it is winter and Christmas is coming. But Christmas was over. It was like hope was sucked out of everyone. Coming inside from the cold to warmth and Christmas smells, and Christmas cheer would have made it all worthwhile. There was no cheer; just boredom. The week was nice at first, but then it was painful. For seven days.

When Lucy went through the Wardrobe, she sees that there is snow all around, and this is odd because on the other side of the Wardrobe it is spring. She meets a fawn named Mr. Tumnus who tells her about the White Witch, “It’s she who makes it always winter and never Christmas; think of that!” In fact the White Witch had made it winter for a hundred years.The White Witch made a counterfeit season that lasted way beyond its three months. I can’t imagine that. I was tired of ice and snow after just three days. 100 years?

Always winter; never Christmas.

At first this seems silly. How can you make it never Christmas? But that is because I am looking at it like an adult. I am not looking at it like it really is. I can somehow be ok with the idea with a talking fawn (or a real live fawn for that matter) but I can’t be ok with it always being winter and never being Christmas? Well once I got over that I realized that a hundred year winter is a hundred year heartache. Blistering cold with no hope for cheer. There was barely enough hope for hope.

But then, after years of short days, and long nights, and not being able to feel the sun shining on your face, and not being able to feel a nice breeze, or have the smell of grass enter your nose, after a hundred years of cold there was hope. Aslan, the Great Lion was returning. The four children appeared in Narnia, and the prophecy was coming true, and everything began to change overnight. Ice was melting, the sun began to break through the clouds; life became new again.

You see, this 100 year winter is your life. It is my life. It was dark and cold and the sun couldn’t make its way through the clouds. It was counterfeit. Always winter, but never Christmas. I felt like cheer and love should show, but even the brightest fires are burnt out in the cold of our lives. And we were miserable in the cold. But Jesus came, and everything changed overnight. This dying world, He brought in back to life, and deep inside I felt things shifting everything was melting away. And after 100 years of cold wind and snow, He gave us the most beautiful of days. Do we know what that means? It means we can hope. It means there is a chance to really live.

Aslan brought Narnia back to life. The very world he was around while it was being made was taken over by the White Witch. But he took it back. This is Christ’s world. It and everything in it. We belong to him although our hearts were dead, and He came and He brought us back to life.

Tax Idea (Revealed)

2005-12-14T09:40:00.000-08:00

After listening to some crazy man mumble in the school cafÃƒÃÂ© about how bad government is and how stupid we Americans are, I've decided to go ahead and tell you of this wonderful tax idea that I had (stolen from Harrison most likely).

So here is the scenario: You get your check from your work, "Maydup Biznass." Congrats, you made $500 dollars this pay period, but you find out that $100 of your money has been taken out due to taxes. $50 of which is a combination of state and federal taxes. That leaves you with a spendable income of $400. You get paid $500 every two weeks (so I guess that "Congrats" wasn't needed) which means that $1,300 of your dollars a year go to paying taxes. (Some of which you get back.)
My proposal is this: replace a deduction from our checks with increased sales tax. I love saying "increase sales tax" because it is almost like a dirty word. You say it and people automatically hate you.
Okay, so what this means and why it is really good thing. Let's say that you know get that $50 back for every check ($100 more spendable income every month and around $1,300 every year.) Now let's say that sales tax has been increased from 7% to 20%. That means for every dollar that a product costs you pay 20 cents. (Ex. if you buy a pony for $500 tax would be $100. Total of $600) This sounds terrible at first because you are spending more money out right, but the benefits that I can see are great. Let's say you spend $300 on taxable items in one month, that means that you only paid $60 in taxes as opposed to your $100 that you normally spend. You are only taxed on what you buy. You don't want to pay a lot of taxes? Then don't buy a lot of junk.

The idea behind this is that we take the burden off the "rich." With tax brackets we have taken this "Robin Hood, Take from the rich, give to the poor idea" a bit far. Robin Hood was taking from those who were unjust. We blame the movie stars for being rich, when we are the ones that give away our money for entertainment, etc. etc.

Back to the benefits: So you think, "Wait, if I am paying $40 less a month wouldn't that mean that everyone is paying less? Wouldn't the government get less money?" Not really. You have to take into account the general principal that people spend more when they have more. More spendable income means more spending. This also means that people that are outside the IRS radar still pay taxes. All the "illegals" pay taxes, also anyone that asks you for spare change will be paying taxes when they go to get a taco. This new system would also make it difficult to swindle the IRS, because a simple presumption is that if you live, you consume, if you consume, you pay, if you pay you pay taxes.

And the good news for some of you is that the rich would still be paying more taxes.

*This tax idea deals solely with federal and state taxes on the individual, and not necessarily taxes on
businesses.

Now I have a final. I may talk about this later.

Tax Idea

2005-12-13T10:15:00.000-08:00

I have a wonderful idea about taxes.
I'll tell you later. But it is a good one. I think I have heard it from someone else.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was so awesome. See it today at a theatre near you.

Said about me today...

2005-12-08T11:45:00.000-08:00

"You are alone in your head without adult supervision." -Lori Mandon

Christmas List

2005-12-04T10:51:00.000-08:00

Ok, so a lot of you have been wondering what you can get me for Christmas. So here is the answer:

1.Buy my book from here*. (Or anywhere you can find it. I know it is available at B&N)
2.Write a quick review. (If you buy it at amazon, and even if you don't buy it write a review)
3.Give the book, as a Christmas gift, to someone who likes to read and doesn't already have it.

This is what I want for Christmas, and I think it will work for you because it is like giving two gifts for the price of one. There is some math I could put in here to show you how that works, but I won't. Because that is my gift to you.

*the picture should be up soon.

Super Awesome Powers

2005-11-29T10:32:00.000-08:00

The title of this entry has nothing to do with the content of this entry. I just wanted to let you know up front so you didn't get any false hopes. So here I am writing. Blog blog blog, all day long. Blog blog blog as I write this song.
Sometimes I don't feel like writing. Or I want to but I don't know what I want to write about. Or maybe I feel like my heart isn't in it. Those feel like really good excuses, but I don't know if it is. I think sometimes we feel like that about prayer. That we don't know what to pray about, or our heart isn't in it. What a lame excuse. "But, Taylor, if my heart is not in it how can I be genuine?" Is your heart genuinely not in it? Yes? Then you can genuinely pray that God get your heart into it. No? Then you just lied to me and you need to ask God for forgiveness.
Thomas Paine said, "What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly."I think our prayers are something we feel we can obtain too cheap. We have to work for our relationship with Christ. Do we honestly think doing nothing, not pushing through, is going to enhance our relationship?
Never stop praying. Ephs. 6:18 1 Thess. 5:17
I've heard that some people have a problem with public prayer. They don't like to do it because it feels fake. To me it seems fake when my focus is not on Christ. It's like talking through someone to talk to someone else. We talk in prayer as another way to talk to the audience. Public prayer should be about getting us lined up together to share in communication and petition. If we pray without stopping, when it's time to openly pray, it should be like a different mode of the same thing. "But, Taylor, what if I don't feel genuine?" See my answers from above.
"But what if I don't know what to pray for?" Then be silent. Why can't public prayer be silent. Why can't you just say, "Jesus, only you know what we are feeling. Listen to our hearts...[longs silence] ...Amen."?
We get this idea that prayer is simply about words. Or about saying the right things. "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."-Romans 8:26

Sometimes when I write, it isn't that good because I don't even know what I am trying to express, but in prayer the Holy Spirit knows beyond what I can even know.

Five Iron Frenzy Day

2005-11-22T10:59:00.000-08:00

Today is the day we've all been waiting for.

I have been on-again-off-again reading Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller. I have found that hearing about someone coming to know Jesus is something that moves me to tears. The way that nobody is too far gone. It is a fantastic book. (I just read a Chapter called Penguin Sex.)You should read this.

On a different note, I will have to say that bathroom procedure needs to be taught in schools. Let's just say that flushing is a must. If you don't want to use your hand use your foot. Gentlemen, you aren't sharp shooters. Quit trying to thread the needle. By that I mean lift the seat.

If you haven't been keeping up with Zach's blog then you are a smelly face. Yeah, I said it. you wanna go? Is that it? I've seen better legs on a chicken.

one of these days I think that I will free associate.

A Little Over

2005-11-20T00:27:00.000-08:00

It has been a little over a week since my last blog. shame shame.

more later.

My Cat Mandy

2005-11-12T22:52:00.000-08:00

Some days are just packed with amazing things. Harrison and I talked on the phone today...twice. I don't want to ruin it for anybody, but the first time we talked it was about Linux. The second time we talked it was about Pound Cake. Radical to the extreme.
Then I spent sometime with Grandma Piña. And I made poundcake for her. I also found out that she read Meander in one sitting. She said that she couldn't put it down. (I knew that putting some superglue on the cover before handing it to her was a good idea. I'm kidding, I only thought it was a good idea.)
But tonight I was blown away. This is a segment from one of the notes:

"So do you remember me? You better. Remember you named your cat after me? Well I named my daughter after you!"

It was an email from Mandy Fyock. We went to Kindergarten together. And although I have kept up with some after we moved from Maryland, but I haven't talked to her in many years.
And now she has a baby! See what not talking to people can do? Some people say that sex is what makes babies, but I know better. It's not talking to people that you went to kindergarten with. Think about it. What am I talking about? This is the part where Harrison holds up three fingers and kinda drops his head. But don't worry folks, I have my little "That joke failed so I'll do a little goofy dance thing to win back their laughter" dance thing that I can use. Bam! I just did it.
Collect yourselves, I am trying to continue.
So Mandy named her child after me. That is quite an honor even if she didn't do it on purpose. How do you one-up someone after they've named someone after you? I guess you can't, because trying can only lead to a vicious game of trying to out honor one another: I named my cat after you, You named your daughter after me, I name a ... fleet of boats after you?...um...really nice boats that are somehow more amazing than your human daughter (work with me) then you discover a new country and name it after me, then I have to find a new planet and name it after you. I think that I'll just stick with being very honored that someone would give their child a name knowing that they'd have to share it with me.

On a truly sad note, she gave me news very juxaposed to birth. It seems that on May 17th, 2005 Kyle McDonough, a best friend of mine while growing up in Maryland, has passed away. She did not have any other information about it to relay. This makes my heart sad. We had the most fun playing with Ninja Turtles and having adventures in the woods. Kyle was always in fond memories of Maryland. And he still will be.

Work Last Night

2005-11-10T10:40:00.000-08:00

I know I should blog right now, and I really want to go into amazing detail about how some girl came in last night and handed me a fake $100 bill and I caught it and it was great, but I won't do that.

Also last night there was a lady that came in and handed a tract to my co-worker. I don't know how I feel about tracts. I have seen a few times before people throw away tracts without even reading them. It just seems so unChristlike. Not in the same sense as how hitting someone in the face with a bronzed chicken would be unChristlike, but it just seems like it's something Christ wouldn't do.

Hey, How are you doing? I'm Jesus, and I'd like to tell you quickly how you are invited to Heaven. Here is something that you may find interesting; it's a little comic that shows how you can get into Heaven. Sorry I don't have time to get to know you, but I have other things to do.

(on a side note: would Jesus wear a W.W.J.D. bracelet? If He wouldn't, why should we? And If He would, wouldn't He really wear a W.W.I.D. bracelet instead? So If Jesus would wear a "What Would I Do?" bracelet, should we wear a "What Would I Do?" bracelet, and in turn, before we do anything say, "If Jesus would ask Himself, 'What would I do?' I should ask myself, 'What would I do?' So I should do whatever I do." Just something to think about.)

She also told me that she thought that God wanted her to tell everyone that they were invited to Heaven, and asked if you if she could make an announcement, and although I was reluctant and advised her that it wouldn't be a good idea, I let her. It was sad. There was no authority in her demeanor. No one listened. Or no one acted like they did. I am not a person that would take that approach (at least not in this stage of my life.) It is like tying a note that says, "Jesus Loves you," onto arrows and going around and firing them into people's chests. Sure the statement is true, but the method is a little off.

I talked to Stacy about it some. I told her how the lady kind of hurried out and looked a little hurt. Maybe God really wanted her to say what she said, but not for the outcome she may have had in mind. Sometimes I think God wants us to do some crazy stuff; Stuff that we may intellectually think is "not the right way" to spread the word. We do it anyway, no one listens, we leave, we think, "See, God, I told you."

Chris threw the tract away without reading it, but he said to me that he would rather talk about Christ with me (or someone like me) because (we have talked about Jesus before so he knows) I won't try to sell him anything, and I will speak on his level with an open mind, and open thoughts. So maybe that lady did just right, just what God told her, for the single purpose of allowing a little more conversation about Jesus.

I think I am afraid to act like that lady, afraid to do what God is telling us. Hey God, this is crazy. They will think I am a fool. So maybe I'll be a fool in their eyes, and maybe I won't be able to be the one that sees people won over, but that isn't the issue. When I get to Heaven will I see the conclusions to all the possibilities that Christ has given me that I have refused, out of self preservation of many types, to follow? Will I see how it could have been had I only obeyed?

To some degree I think that lady acted on impulse, and I would rather get to know people and show Christ rather than hand someone a 2"x3" comicbook about how to get to Heaven. But "I've heard it said that He wastes nothing," Nothing wasted. No, "that didn't go as planned."

Our Brilliant Savior.

Hard Sneezes (and other recent events)

2005-11-06T11:38:00.000-08:00

I have been having brain busting sneezes lately.

Also I am on a FIF addiction right now. (remember, kids, Five Iron Frenzy Day is Nov. 22) I found out that my dad's book, The prison-terrorist link: A special Cerberus, inc. report, is listed (not for sale, but I have a copy. Looks like I am the lucky one.) here on Amazon.com (pretty neat, Dad.) Also, I think that is my Grandfather's book too. (James H. Mosbey: his name) So in weeks my very own name will be added to that list. I am pretty happy about that.

Also, here at church, I have been taking the left over pumpkins that weren't sold, and rolling them down the hill. It is pretty rad to see a big pumpkin tumbling down at high velocity. (thanks, Roy.)

New FIF songs

2005-11-02T14:37:00.000-08:00

I found them today (well they aren't really new, but I've never heard them.) It was like Christmas.

*FIF = Five Iron Frenzy

ISBN

2005-10-31T11:24:00.000-08:00

Meander has been corrected( and new coverized) and now has an ISBN: 1-4116-5690-3
that means in a few weeks you will be able to get it anywhere.
wow. my stomach hurts.

Warren Zevon

2005-10-28T15:04:00.000-07:00

Warren Zevon is awesome. I am listening to Roland the Thompson Gunner right now. And soon I will listen to Werewolves of London. What is better than that?

Book's In

2005-10-26T10:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I got my book yesterday. I ran by the house between work and church so I could open it up with Stacy (who was already at church.) There was someone else in the room with us when I opened it. This person ended up really stifling my joy. I should have waited until it was just Stacy and me, but about 3 years of waiting I really wanted to see what my story looked like as a book.
But I have gained a better understanding of Romans 12:15. Sometimes rejoicing with one another takes as much care as weeping with one another. How quickly snide remarks and back handed complements can hinder our joy.
The book itself needs some formatting readjustments (like I said before) so if you already have bought the book and have seen the mishap on page 64 and 124 know that I am going to fix them (consider your version the one that millions of future fans are going to be sooo jealous for, and you can sell it on eBay for hundreds.) The cover (both front and back) need a little improvement. So in a few days the new version will be ready and available. Even in bookstores nationwide. maybe.

'Sup?

2005-10-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

My book is getting here today and I am excited. (I am now ranked 2426.)

Super Mayhem Games were kind of a bust. There was another "family event" that was planned "last minute" that made it "difficult" for "kids" to "show up."

Right now I should be writting out for tonight what I am going to talk about to the kids. But...
I read an awesome quote today:

A Christian worker has to learn how to be God’s man or woman of great worth and excellence in the midst of a multitude of meager and worthless things. Never protest by saying, "If only I were somewhere else!" All of God’s people are ordinary people who have been made extraordinary by the purpose He has given them. -Oswald Chambers.

It's the "multitude of meager and worthless things" that bury you. Maybe that is what i will write on.

Super Mayhem Games!

2005-10-22T13:44:00.000-07:00

Right now, Stacy and I are setting up for Super Mayhem Games! for the Jr. Highers here at Cypress. The games start at 2. I hope lots of kids show. anyways, shodies, there will be some pictures most likely.

p.s. now my rank is 2537. Look out number one spot. Whow.

This is a New Post

2005-10-18T18:16:00.000-07:00

And as soon as I write another it won't be new anymore.
Why do we call someone old? When we look at an old person, they are experiencing this new day just like you and I. Today they are new. It is the 'them' that lived 50 years ago that is old.
Today I am new. I do not have all the same cells in my body now like I did yesterday. (I have the same kind of cells mind you, just not the same exact cells.) I am new today. And new everyday.
It kind of helps me put into perspective how God's mercies are "new every morning."
Kind of neat to think about.

Thanks

2005-10-16T11:54:00.000-07:00

I want to thank everyone (most likely just family members) that has bought my book so far. I am now ranked 2748 in sales at Lulu.com! After I get my copy, I will make some additional changes (dealing mostly with layout) and then I will submit the second edition and retire the one that is for sale now. This means there will only be a limited number of first editions out there (right now there are only 11). The second edition will contain an ISBN which means that anyone can look up my book (at a library, borders, barnes and noble, amazon, etc.) and buy it from there (or check it out). Thanks so much, family and friends, for making a dream of mine come true.

You can by the book here.

Hello Bird.

2005-10-13T23:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Everyone,
My eldest sister, Mina, has joined our merry rag-tag group of bloggers.
Ponderings is her site.

Buy My Book

2005-10-13T17:38:00.000-07:00

I decided to go with self publishing.
Help make me rich.
Buy it here.

Better

2005-10-12T23:57:00.000-07:00

Ovaltine is better than regular chocolate milk.

As of Late

2005-10-11T10:25:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you are being short with someone for no reason; like underneath your skin is a hair trigger that in one touch will make you explode? Niether have I. Ok, so I have. I think it happened Sunday. I was trying to get in a door at church and i had coffee in hand and my Bible in the other, and all someone (on the other side of the glass) could do was wave. I waved back and continued to try to open the door, when I looked up this person was still waving with a "You haven't really given me a good wave" look on their face. Erg!
Frustration is created when our expectation doesn't meet our reality.
I think one way to over come that is to expect everything. Like right now, so I won't get frustrated if it happens, I am going to expect a plane to come and crash through my window...
waiting...
waiting...
wait for it...
Ok, so that didn't really work as I had planned.
(Now I am frustrated.)

I think we fool ourselves as Christians when we don't expect problems. We think in the mathmatical. If I do this + think this = a good day.
We need to get up and think, "There is a good chance I am going to run into something unexpected today, but God is there." That would change me. Hey God, you've been here waiting for me at this potential problem, I think I can make it through."

I don't think we need to be pouty people always postulating that some ponderous problem is preparing to pounce on us and pulverize us into puny pieces.
But it may help if we just know that things aren't always going to go as planned. But God is there.
God is there. The small unexpected things are the chinks in the dam.

and....we're clear.

Blorg

2005-10-06T10:36:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the wonder of gmail/google/googletalk i was able to tlak to my mother 'the other day' ( that is a "momism") who is in Jordan. For those of you who may wonder how good talking over that distance sounds too bad. I am not going to tell you. That's right. Oh, call me a jerk then, yeah, that's really gonna make me want to tell you. Nope. Nope. Stop begging. Begging is for dogs, people food is for people.

There is a post on Cory's blog that I don't know if i want to comment on right now. Well it isn't the post but it is the comments. or one in particular.

Ben P says, "They’re just trying to make a couple bucks off Jesus…That’s pretty bad."

I don't know if he was joking or not. And i really don't care if he wasn't. (meaning I don't want to write this thing and have him read it and be all like, "Dude, that was a joke. You didn't have to go off on me like that. You don't even know me.") I really only want to write about a past mentality that I have had (and somestimes, more than I'd like to admit, still have.)
It is this mentality that thinks that I know enough. That I've sat down and learned all i need to know about God and Christ. That somehow I have reached a level of superior Christianity. And I pass it of by saying, "I am just maturing in Christ," or, "I am just a little farther along in my walk then they are," and magically that gives me the right to say things like, "They are doing it wrong." Christ looks at us at ground level. He looks to see that all the feet around the cross are on level ground. It is no matter to Him how much higher any head is held above the rest. We strain in our intellectualism to see Christ on the stage like He is some performer. If I can just get above everyone else I will see Him more. Christ is closer to our feet than our heads.
And yet I look at things with my degree of Trumped-up-intellect and think it is foolish to have shirts that say, "blah blah blah" and, "Jesus loves you so much that He would eat worms just to prove it." Christ is concerned that our feet all rest on the foundation, not how tall we think we are.

This is not me pulling down the walls of reasoning that Christ has so amazingly put within us; this is not me trying to break up any shred of growing intellectually in Christ. But I am trying to ask who of us has it? Who of us has got Jesus any better than any other? Grow in Christ, but don't knock soft food from a baby's hands just because you don't or can't get nurishment from it anymore. If one person's life is brought even an inch closer to Christ because of some cheesy shirt, do you think it matters to Christ? If some person traveling behind a dirty truck with the words 'Jesus loves you' fingermarked in the back is moved, do you think that counts?
So you think it is silly (or dangerous) to put a 'Fish' on your car, fine, but don't ridicule other Christians for doing it.

As far as "making money of Jesus" I think any 'Christian Artist', preacher, pastor, clergy, Biblesalesman, mega-music event planner, video developer, etc. etc. could be accused (with good cause) of trying to make money off of Jesus. But I am not in a position to judge their hearts. Maybe some of you are; if God's blessed you with that gift, go for it.

'Look what a mess we've made of love'

Ok, so the quality was really good.

Aspersion

2005-10-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

"We slander God by our very eagerness to work for Him without knowing Him."

-Oswald Chambers

What can I write after that to improve it?

I was talking to one of the boys from the "The Core" about his recent activity in helping with more of the 'on stagedness' (a.k.a. playing guitar) part of the Tuesday night service.

Over a wonderful sushi lunch I spent most of the time yammering. Everything I said is summed up in Chamber's words.

I don't want to be known to God as one of His slanderers.

Of "The Area of Mine"

2005-09-29T11:41:00.000-07:00

Supercalafragilesticexbealicrazy. make you do stuff and make ya insane ya see. got my nine an' my stuff in the lie-berry, what.

I'm sorry. there is this guy that is across from me and he is listening to some"music" (i use the term very loosly) loud enough for me to know that he is listening to rap. I was considering doing this entire blog in rap, but i don't have the time to answer 400 comments axin' me to 'splain what i be talkin' 'bout. (trans.: '...asking me to explain what I have written.' see what i mean?) It's bad enough that i forget to capitalize my 'i's, and that i misspell things on accident. It would take me too long to try and spell everything "the cool way."

The school library here is a little odd. it may be because a lot of folk use the abundance of computers solely for myspace. To me myspace is to blogging like rap is to music. Or craft is to art. Or drowning is to swimming.

I may be wrong in saying this, but i think that people that chose myspacing over blogging chose it because they lack the talent or courage to actually write. maybe they are just lazy. I think that the people that chose to blog over myspace (space on my? myspacing? whatever. I am using myspace as a verb here) are people that have something to say, not something to sell.

I have no problem with people that like myspace: it is good for meeting long lost friends, bands use it to keep in touch with fans, etc. etc. But i think it has become super-trendy. It's like wearing a cap. There is a practical use: keep the sun out of one's eyes. And there is a some-what practical use wearing it backwards: Taking pictures, keeping the wind from blowing it off while bike riding. But then there is that side of the head or somewhat-slanted-on-the-head-wearing-it too-low thing: No Purpose. To me that screams, "Look at me! I am only concerned with status and with what is popular." Does that explain myspace for you? It has it's practical uses, but i think the majority of the users are just the kind of people that wear their hat slanted.

In conclusion i would like to add something deeply profound.

Never Say Die.

2005-09-26T10:45:00.000-07:00

No, I am not talking about saying 'the' in german.
Dad said once that "no matter what, get up and keep punching through." So I am trying to do so. Death will come regardless of whether or not I think about dying. why waste the time thinking about it. Thinking about dying only hinders you from living. Thinking about giving up only hinders you from giving more.

I only got scheduled 19 hours this week. which equates to less than $200.

Must live. Must give more.

Those Days

2005-09-22T14:25:00.000-07:00

I don't feel like I am a very good blogger. Not that being a great blogger is any big boast, but I feel like (with so many things) that it is only sub-par. Like that feeling you get when you shoot a basket and it rolls around the edge like water in a sloshy vortex in your toilet bowl, but then all the sudden it pops out (the basketball, not the contents of your dear toilet.) Like that feeling of "almost, but not quite." I heard my dad once say, "Nothing ever quite works out." Bam. I know that feeling. There are so many things that I would like to write about and yet I still haven't, And do you know why? Lower back pain. Nah. I'm kidding. I think it is really because I have a life. Well, I have a life that doesn't involve me being at the computer for more than a few hours at a time. I in no means meant to say that those of you that spend a lot of time in front of a computer have no life. Unless you don't have a life, then I totally meant to say you have no life, you lifeless losers. Get a job. Or a hobby. Go outside and stop trying to put twinkes on an endangered species list with you nonstop munching on their soft and spongy on the outside, creamy in the middle goodness. But if your job is with computers (like I wish mine was) then go ahead and spend lots of time on the computer.
Where was I? Oh yes, "I still haven't..." I don't feel worthless by any means. There is a lot in life that I've seen and done and been a part of. Life continues to be amazing. It's the way God intended. I think I would have to add to, "Nothing ever quite works out." The way that I've seen it thus far is, "Nothing ever quite works out the way we think it will. Things work out in perfection the way God thinks it will."
That is such a great thing to put my hopes in.

Alright. Now I have to write a music review for this month's Static (youth noise).

Sometimes People Bug Me.

2005-09-15T15:03:00.000-07:00

I dislike driving behind certain people. Any old person that can't see clearly and wants to disregard all road signs while maintaining a speed that only a wounded turtle would think is speedy.
And also people that are self-righteous in their complaints. A few weeks ago, i was at my church in the gym and someone (a church worker)asked when a grate from a ceiling vent fell. I informed them that him that it had been that way for awhile, and i knew this because i recalled that months ago some boys in the youth group made a game off trying to throw a ball into the open hole.
let me say now that the removed grate (about a foot in diameter) revealed an airduct vent (with an opening roughly the same size)that went straight up. To actually be able to make it to the opening, you'd have to throw a ball straight up about 40 feet. To make it in was a rather large challenge. If the ball ever made it in it would immediately fall to the ground. to get it stuck you'd have to have a canon for an arm.
And also the ball would have to be covered in a quick-drying super adhesive.
He said, "it fell months ago?!?"
I said yes, and I was a little astounded. Just because you find something broken doesn't mean that it happened minutes before you got there. Take the noseless sphinx for example. I wonder if upon seeing it for the first time, some explorer said, "Look around for the nose. It should be just on the ground somewhere."
And then an elderly lady who was standing there (back at church now, people. Try and keep up.) said, "That is exactly the kind of game they shouldn't be playing."
Oh, is that so? Throwing balls in the gym? And all this time I thought that was the place for it. You are right lady. I'd much rather have them shooting up heroin in the church gym than taking nerf balls and throwing them at the ceiling. Oh the carnage!
And then I was informed that the fans in the gym are two to five hundred dollars each? Who designed that place? Ryan, don't be a stupid architect and build a gym that can't be used.
So that is me venting. I just have to remember to not be a chump. I hope i'm not one of those people that "just doesn't get it."

p.s. this blog talks about roger. have you not been paying attention? He wa s a guy in my bibleship disciplestudy group. and i live at his house.

Roger is gone.

2005-09-11T23:57:00.000-07:00

Right now, the room done the hall is empty. Roger is gone. I miss him already. I just keep thinking to myself, "I should have done this, I should have said more. Why wasn't I a better example?" He is making his way into the world the is not sheltered by parents. I am praying he finds his strength were I know he knows to find it.

The Sarik!

2005-09-08T15:23:00.000-07:00

This is great! My family (all of them) have this wonderful way of showing up unexpectedly! Cousin Sarah and her husband are are in town! WOW! I had no idea.

Novella

2005-09-05T00:32:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, i have now completed my novellablogsite and i will be posting a new chapter semi-daily. you may find it here. i hope you enjoy.

Meander

2005-09-02T10:28:00.000-07:00

In the footsteps of Harrison the Magnanimous, I too shall be starting another blog. This will be a story blog as well, but unlike Harrison, my story was completed a year ago. I do realize there is some lack of creativity and some abundance of unoriginality. However,...oh well.

Finally 90!

2005-08-24T23:57:00.000-07:00

Wow! After 3 months and 16 days I finally got 90 votes on my Jones soda label. What is wrong with you people? I mean really, what is more important than anything that I do?

Don't really answer that.
I reread that comment from from one of Don's parents. It's silly that I get concerned about simple things that don't matter, like whether I get a million votes on my Jones soda label. It's taken 3 months to get 10 votes. How many months will they need?
My perspective has changed even from when I started with this entry until now. I was going to be silly and goofy, and complain. It's not worth it right now.
My heart hurts for Don's family right now.

My Rue

2005-08-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

It's taking me a lot longer to write an opening line to this paragraph than I'd like. And perhaps that is the best indicator what I am recognizing. It has been a while since I have written even a semi-substantial entry, and quite honestly it has been a while since I have written anything of any talent whatsoever (this is not to say that I am any sort of wonderwriter, only that I am not doing as well as I can). My blog has of late been filled with sort entries, and pictures with brief and uninteresting discriptions. This is not what I wanted when I started. I didn't want some higly trafficked site with slightly witty one-sided banter with bad links and even worse "art." I wanted this blog so I could write, so I could pound keys until the rhythm of the clacking gave the ample beat to whatever thought was sliding out of my mind. I don't think my blog has become as commercialized as some, but i see that won't take long before it becomes a site covered in ads like some rich lady trying desperately to cover herself with a fur coat (made out of the finest hamster.) What a gradual decline I am taking. I want to be a better writer. I want to be a better communicator.

Super Hero (II)

2005-08-17T22:20:00.000-07:00

Super Hero

2005-08-16T12:07:00.000-07:00

Cousin Zach

2005-08-14T12:43:00.000-07:00

I just found that my cousin Zach is blogging. You should check it out. He is so freaking awesome and really tall. His stuff is good to read.

bam.

No time

2005-08-13T18:23:00.000-07:00

Sorry Folks,
I really don't have time to be blogging right at this moment so you can't really get a good blog out of me. Just this boring old hunk of junk blog.
My desktop needs to be made onlinable.

Kilt!

2005-08-07T14:11:00.000-07:00

I went to the scottish festival today, and ended up buying a Utilikilt. Amazing is all i can say. It feels great.
I know that i will get made fun of, but once you've tried it on there is no going back.

On another note, I am beginning to see how although the area of california I live in does not have too many trees, a lot of the people are the type that "can't see the forest because of trees." So many people are so wrapped up in whatever is around themselves that they have no clue that there is a world beyond.

Can't Stay

2005-08-02T11:55:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow Stacy and I have to go back to California, and even though it has been a crazy weekend, with my sister becoming a Finn, and lots of driving, and it's boiling hot, and whatnot, i don't really want to leave. I like it here.

Stacy just got back from taking a trip to Hobby Lobby with mi madre so i am going to go.

Camera

2005-08-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

guess what i got?
that's right, kids, a Varsity hat.

Fantastic

2005-07-23T14:21:00.000-07:00

When i got back from camp i fell into sickness. a deep dark sickening sickness of fever, cold chills and earaches. so i haven't been able to blog.

camp was great. a huge Pillow Battle. it was too big just to call a "pillow fight." there were 30 to 40 boys duking it out.

crazy. my sister gets married in a week. i leave with stacy on wenesday.

i'm so excited...and i just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control and i think i like it.

Shh..!

2005-07-14T17:06:00.000-07:00

I am secretly writing this from calvin crest camp. I am at cory pineapple's house and using his scalding mac. wow. hands..burning..so hot. doing great. pray for stacy's back.

Camp

2005-07-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

this week i will be at camp. I hope that things go well. Pray for Junior Highers. Pray for me.
Out.

To my Brother

2005-07-07T14:02:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Harrison. You are the best brother I've ever had. Way better than Mary-Stewart. No Rice-a-roni for you this year. (what was i thinking then? I blame the chemo.)
I love you.

Forth

2005-07-04T12:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Forth of July.
I have to work tonight. I am really extremely frustrated with my "boss" (if one could actually call her that.) On Friday (i was working that night) I went in to check when I worked the following week. I was not really surprised that they had me scheduled for the 4th (tonight). I have not been able to work a monday night since january and yet, here I am. Why am i not surprised? because that is just the kind of wonderful person she is. when i called to explain that i had plans she told me that she had to sing that night and could do nothing about it, and also, she scheduled me that night because i was taking two weeks off this month. so i guess working the Forth is a punishment for working part time? on saturday she called me to tell me two things: First, that the refridgeration in the display case was turned off, and she asked if i knew the difference between the light switch and the "condenser" switch. I informed her that the swith marked "light" was the one that turned on and off the light, to which she said that this happened last time i was working, and there "was a pattern." Like having off every monday isn't.
there is still more to vent about, but i don't want to now.

Soldering

2005-06-28T13:08:00.000-07:00

I've been working on some dinky display statuey thing for the youth and i have had to solder. i have not been successful in doing a good job soldering. however, i have excelled at searing and scorching my fingers.

Of Secret Doors

2005-06-20T11:40:00.000-07:00

Perhaps not unlike the majority of children I have had (and still do have) a fascination with Secret Doors. Not just doors but secret passage ways, or secret rooms. Anything where a certain book has to be pulled or a candle needs to be removed, or maybe just a waredrobe needs to be entered. So many stories of used this theme: Beyond what appears to be a normal door is another world where adventure awaits.
I was thinking a few days ago about this. About my attraction to these secret things that is, and about why so many people seem to share, in some way, the same pull. At first I wondered, is it because we are bad? Is it because in us there is some want, or hunger for deception? Is it because in our dark hearts we want to escape this world because it is either too mudane or we don't wish to deal with simple pangs and prods that life deals in spades?
I don't think it's that at all (although there are plenty of people that choose to escape in other ways). I believe the want for secret doors is put in us by God. It's there in all of us, that intrigue. We don't wish to find a secret door because we want to justify our decptiveness, we wish to find them because we believe there is something more than simple bookshelves and and dimly candle-lit hallways. We want to find secret doors because we believe there is more to life than this. And not a counterfeit life. A life that has always been there, a life that needs to be found, that we need to be a part of. One with peril, and adventure. One that needs us to play our part and be the hero for our section of the great tale.
Our hearts are captivated because God made a Secret Door and everytime we see or hear of one our inclination is to creep ever so slightly, more and more, to that door. It is a visible echo that we see in hidden passageways. In stories we are drawn in, because in reality we can hear the sound beyond our ways. Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." It's not through our common routine that we see the Father. It is not through our legalistic rules, or our ever-changing sloppy standard morals. Beyond the door is the battlefield and beyond the battlefield is the Banqueting table in the presence of the King.
We like secret doors because deep inside we know there is a world beyond our living room.

Myndles Brane Dribal

2005-06-15T13:18:00.000-07:00

I feel like some sort of criminal. Why does the simple act of not blogging seem like a felony? I have left my adoring fans in the dark and missing me, and to that i have to say that I am truly sorry. To both of you.
Recently I have discovered that events in my life don't revolve around my blogging. that is a crying shame. I really do enjoy writing. I wish things in my life could come together enough so that i could. but i can't. Oh, so you can, can you? Fine. Rub it in. Jerk. What have I ever done to you and your family? Besides that one thing. and eat your food? I still have to write about Calvin and Hobbes. And other stuff. But I can't. Because I don't have as much time as you. Clown.

So here is the plan. Someone out there gives me lots of money to do stuff I like. Great.

This has been mindless brain dribble. Thank you for your time.

Miss me?

2005-06-07T18:01:00.000-07:00

Didja? well you can stop missing me now. great.

Boo-yaa

2005-05-31T08:55:00.000-07:00

My brother has a good take on the new Star Wars. I know you are now totally excited about checking it out so here is the link: * .

This will be my last blog from house 151. and it may be my last blog for a few weeks. I am going out of town and I don't know when I am going to get a chance share blah blah blah blah blah. You get the idea. My craptop is broken again so I can't use that. man. Crazy days.

If you are new to my site you and are considering not sticking around, read this quote (a testimonal if you will) from a person just like you, with real thoughts, and feelings, and ideas, and tense shoulders who enjoys my blog.

"I think you think like I think; except when you don't." - John Mosbey

Man. That was great. Ok, so that quote was from my dad. It doesn't change anything.

I have no idea what that was about. I have to do some more packing.

Never....say....die.

SmoeFoe

2005-05-29T00:36:00.000-07:00

My great friend Ryan Smothers has decided to start blogging. When you get a chance check out 'Just Thoughts'.

p.s. that isn't a real picture of ryan.

Episode III (could have been improved)

2005-05-28T15:12:00.000-07:00

*Harrison, you may not want to read this until you see the movie.

These are some improvements that could have been made:
1. The Wookiee battle (a.k.a. Battle of Kashyyyk) needed to have a lot more Wookiee butt kicking. I mean at the battle of Endor they spent a ton of time watching the Ewoks beat the crap out of Storm Troopers, and I know that that battle had more to do directly with the story (blowing up the sheild generator so that the Rebels could blow up the Second Death Star), but I would have loved to seen more Wookiees going crazy.
2. When Anikin goes bad and the Clone Troopers turn (order 66) against the Jedi:
a. After yoda kills those two Clone Troopers another should have poped up and Chewbacca should have ripped his arm off and beat him to death with it.
b. Clone Troopers should have only been able to kill the "lesser Jedi" and the other ones (like Luminara Unduli, Aayla Secura, Plo Koon etc.) should have been hunted down one by one by Darth Vader in a montage of destruction. Then Darth should have gotten burned and more hunting of Jedi. He should have also looked for Obi-wan and Yoda.

I was disappointed that Vader didn't really do any of the Jedi killing. At least nothing worthy of making him something to be fearful of.

I may add more to this later.

Weird Religion

2005-05-27T15:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday a lady walked to the counter and said something to the effect of, "Because of my religion I am not allowed to buy anything," and then she added, "is there any drink that you could give me?" I let her know we had free water from the fountain and pointed in it's direction. Sadly she said, "Oh, I've had water before," and she walked out sulking.

Question:

2005-05-26T10:27:00.000-07:00

Who do I know from Fayetteville, North Carolina?
also: Who do I know from Miami, Florida?

Roommates

2005-05-25T00:14:00.000-07:00

I think I have done a very good job not bad mouthing my roommates (at least on this site). But I think for the most part they are very spineless. I hear about men of God who aren't afraid to speak the truth in love, but I think one of my roommates said it best just now when he said that we having "been walking around the house in a cold war." I know I am not entirely correct in everything I do, and truthfully I need to speak out when things are bugging me. They aren't really bad guys. I know they are trying to be better men of God. I am just really hurt. And I am disappointed. And I know the way the stories will be spun; I will be the "bad guy" or more likely they will pull the "I think he is just going through some rough times right now and needs our prayers" card to come across Holy. I think I would probably do the same. And that is just it. I am not the perfect roommate. There are flaws in me that I don't see. That I won't see unless someone loves me enough to point them out. And that is just what hasn't been happening here. A lot of silence. The sound of deep space, between two stars. It has done nothing for my relationships with them. And maybe it's sad that I don't care where they go when they move, and I don't care to see or hear from them again. Maybe I should care that I will most likely be a blown out of proportion example of what not to be as a Christian. But I don't care because I know that at least part of it will be true. And I know that we all desperately need Christ. As long as they come to that conclusion too then I think everything will be alright.

Room

2005-05-23T11:54:00.000-07:00

my room is slowly but surely being emptied of all its contents. i am glad to be moving. i have nice roommates, but... but really that is about it. i continue to be disappointed with people. not just disappointed, but a little bewildered and awestruck in the fact that people want to take more than they give. it makes me grateful for Christ's love for me. i get to go home for a visit very soon. i'll get to see my nephew, and i am thrilled about that. when some people seem to consistently let me down it makes me thankful for those who regularly don't. i quickly forget that loving others means little about ideas and ideals, less about promises, and nothing about lip-service. it means that we are who we say we are. Our actions lare directed by our hearts, and when we claim that are one way and act another we only show that are hearts are far from Love. I am realizing that the notion of being "just a little slack" only fools those who are seldom in your company, just as saving $5 a day doesn't seem like much until the ten year mark (over $18,250). i am praying that my mercy and my kindness increase.

Too hot.

2005-05-21T19:12:00.000-07:00

It's too hot to write (must be at least 72 degrees). i need a fan. I think that is the real problem; the air is not moving. this monterey weather has made me a lilac when it comes to braving the elements.

Not let down

2005-05-19T03:06:00.000-07:00

Episode III (three) was a lot better than I (one) and II (two).

more later.

I am here to Inform You...

2005-05-16T17:10:00.000-07:00

Roller Coasters do not appear naturally in the wild.

Poor Communication

2005-05-13T10:19:00.000-07:00

For all its conveniences conversing through an instant messenger is a huge pain. There seems to be no good way to "just say hi." With no visual cue you have no idea if you are interrupting, so you barge right in blindly with a "hello" without any idea of what the person is doing. I mean some people tend to be bad at recognizing whether or not it is a good time to say hello in a real-life-I'm-a-human-you're-a-human,
-we-both-see-each-other-physically,
-and-we-can-talk-with-only-air-between-us sense. but online...
then there is the "trying to catch-up" factor in which a bad connection, or poor typing create this great gap in the conversation where one is trying to answer questions from three lines ago and the other is getting confused because he just asked, "How's school," and the reply was, "Smells like some gorilla." And that is bad, but what I hate is not being able to grab the subtle things. Like tone, or body language, or phrasing. The word "ok" can be warped in your mind to be some angry uncaring word that you think really means, "You are retarded, and i have no time for you," but it could mean something simple like maybe just "ok." There is also the guarantee that you will be misunderstood at some point.
A lot of times it is never just one of these things, because, hey, the more the merrier.
I miss the good ol' days where people would talk to each other face to face. You could be respectful and look each other in the eye, maybe read some body language. And if you didn't want to talk or disagreed with the person all you had to do was throw your hand up in there face and exclaim, "BLaMP!" I miss those days.

Itch

2005-05-13T00:08:00.000-07:00

i have this itch to do. this itch to be something. to make, to create, to build. I feel like there should be a time in my life when i look back and a see some completed projects. something substantial. something that will allow me to have a foundation for more building and creating and doing. but right now i have that feeling you get when you know you've missed one too many days of math class. like you could get ahead if you could catch up. I look around and i see a room that won't have me in it this time next month. i have ideas and thoughts and stories playing drums loudly in my head. I've always wished for some secret benefactor, like in Charles Dickens Great Expectations but life doesn't seem to playout that way. the dreamer wants to stay sleeping because that is where his dreams are most real. What do i have that is enough that is right now? There is no giving up, and although I can't see the shore for the waves, I am keeping myself afloat. I've been stung by some jellyfish and this salt water is making me itch.

New to the Wagon

2005-05-12T14:32:00.000-07:00

My brother Harrison has joined the "BlogWagon". Check out his site, Soli Deo Gloria (latin for "Glory to God Alone".) He is a much more concise writing than i am. plus he is tall.

Moved

2005-05-11T00:05:00.000-07:00

Tonight, like i normally do, i checked to see if i had any comments. Sure enough i did. it was under my "80" entry, so i simply thought that it was going to be something along the lines of "hey man, i voted for your label. it is great. ha ha. i'm popular." I was stunned to find that it wasn't.

Hello, Potato -

I stumbled across your page while searching for my son's name. In the midst of my grief it was comforting to read your words and to know that Don (we called him Scooter) impacted you and others like you. Thank you for taking the time to remember him.

I don't really know what to say except that i am honored and humbled. I never expected this to be read by anyone that knew Don much less one of his parents, I am just glad that I was, in whatever small minute way, a comfort.

Thank you.

80

2005-05-09T23:37:00.000-07:00

I now have eighty (80) votes on my Jones soda label. thanks ya'll. you should totally make a link from your site to the voting page. And you really need to take voting for stacy's label's more seriously. thanks pals.

Congrats

2005-05-09T10:47:00.000-07:00

Way to graduate Tyler Kirk.

You know that beat down Feeling?

2005-05-08T23:41:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling that now. I am trying to keep in mind that God is in control and that he doesn't want to hurt me (although He allows me to be hurt).
I am waiting for God to come through for me. I am waiting for Him to save the day.
I am waiting for something to catch. i'd love for my novella, or my screenplay, or my kids book to get published. That would be a help. maybe less help than i think, but it would be nice. One day i want to see my movie on the 'Big Screen'. i don't know if that will happen, but that would be great. I want to see some lady on a train inthralled in my book, and i want some kid to tell me he wants to be Elkbar for Halloween. I can't help but dream. It doesn't do much for me. It doesn't pay the bills. it doesn't make me have more time. It doesn't massage my feet.

i don't know if i have what it takes when it counts, but i am trying.

30 days

2005-05-05T19:06:00.000-07:00

News:
i have 30 days to find a new house.
house 151 is sold and the new owners don't want us.

fun.

Dad is Cool

2005-05-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

a lot cooler than i am anyway. is your dad this cool?

Yeah.

2005-05-03T18:20:00.000-07:00

Nothing ever quite works out.

For the Ruler of the World

2005-04-28T23:21:00.000-07:00

For those of you that haven't been keeping up:

a friend i met through the coffee shop had emergency brain surgery the other day and i didn't find out until the 1st (i thought it was a joke). i went to see him today and they say he is doing better. but he had tubes in his throat and running ever which way out of everywhere else. i pray he gets better. - April 03, 2005

Don Greenley was about my height, with a feathery blonde military crew cut, and when he first started coming into my coffee shop ordering around 3 consecutive Indian Malibars (imagine caffeine with a battery) at night i really didn't know what to think. And then he'd begin the process of studying mixed with conversation, both academic and nonstudious. but he tipped generously, so i realized he must not be all bad. Don quickly became a regular, and almost everyday, including weekends, we'd see him in the café working away at Chinese for his studies at D.L.I. Good regulars keep me sane at a place where so many overparticular foreign tourist and their disgustingly deviant and presumptuous family members bumble and gallop about. Don was one that could be counted on to act the same everyday. He was never overcheerful, but never depressing or pessimistic. He was just a good guy.

And today he died.

This is just some silly blogsite. these are just some silly words that someday will be deleted with the simple touch of a button.

I'm sorry, Don. I'm sorry you won't have coffee anymore. I'm sorry i didn't tell you how Jesus loved you.

My Testimony

2005-04-26T01:17:00.000-07:00

A few months ago my sister-in-law sent an email out to our family giving her testimony, and then she asked to hear those of other family members. Finally I am getting around to posting it, (I had written it previously in order to share with youth) so this will be from my message… if you have heard it before, please forgive me, my past hasn’t changed since I wrote this the first time.

I have amazingly flat feet. I don’t know why they are so flat but they are. Maybe it was because I wore my shoes on the wrong feet up until last year, but most likely it is genetics. My dad has very flat feet too, although I think mine are flatter than his. The first thing I remember about my dad’s feet is not seeing them, it was hearing them. Dad was in the military and he had to get up real early every morning, and his “tip-toeing” would wake everyone up. Dad has never been good at waking any of us kids up. We all hated when dad woke us up. When mom did she’d come in all quiet and sit at the foot of our beds and rub our feet and gently say our names till we pleasantly awoke, but not dad. Dad’s idea of waking our pleasantly involved him standing in our doorway and growling at us saying, “Time to get up!” it was awful. But the truth was we needed to get up anyway for school or church or whatever we needed to get up for, and despite the fact that it was a rude awakening it really got the job done.
I remember some of those days after being rudely awoken, I had to go to school, and I am certain that most of my time was spent looking out the window with my focus and imagination outside. When it was my turn to read aloud, or go to the black[green]board, or whenever I needed to get my mind back to the task at hand the teacher had to get my attention and make me focus. I didn’t like that very much because I wanted to look outside. I wanted to fight dragons or fly some spacecraft or be some sort of ninja, but looking back on it I see how class was very important and good. If it weren’t for classes, I wouldn’t be writing this right now.
I should also to tell you about another rude awaking in my life (it is very essential to my testimony and therefore most be told.) I was raised in a Christian home, and I the youngest of four. I wasn’t really the “baby” of the family because my older sister, Mary-Stewart, had asthma, so she was the one really babied, even though she may deny it. I was left to my own devices. I was basically the left out loner. To say I felt neglected would be a complete and utter lie. But I was simply left with my own space and time. I accepted Jesus as my savior when I was 8 when we lived in Maryland in a small church. Shortly after, we moved to south of Atlanta (in Georgia…duh.) and we began attending an enormous church. I didn’t like it at first, but it began to grow on me. I got involved in drama and music and activities and what not, but my life at school did not reflect my life at church. I was slowly becoming two different people. At school I was a mean jerk, class clown hungry for popularity, but at church I was close to a saint.
It was December of my seventh grade year, I had just turned 13, and I had decided to start working my pudgy body out so I could join the football team the next year. I began running and working out. On around February 1st I noticed I wasn’t feeling well. My chest started to hurt but I thought it was natural because I was out of shape. By February 6th I was feeling so bad that I had to go to the emergency room. They examined me and said it was the flu, but the next night I was feeling worse, ever breath was a painful one, my entire left side hurt. I went back to the emergency room that night and the said it must be pneumonia. The next day we got a phone call telling us to drop what we were doing and go to Scottish Rite a well known children’s hospital and doctors’ office. I had to take many different tests which was a pain because I was hurting and I hadn’t studied. The next day was February 9th, my oldest sister’s birthday, and we were called back to Scottish Rite for the results. I had cancer. I had acute lymphocytic leukemia (t cell.) What a day that was. I was only in 7th grade and I had cancer? This was something that only old people get isn’t it? What did this mean? I had gone from a wild child to a weak dieing kid in a matter of days. This wasn’t fair.
Circa the next few weeks I started chemotherapy, and contrary to what you may have heard chemo is not fun. The goal of chemotherapy is to kill the cancer, but the side effects are sometimes worse than the cancer itself. Chemo kills the fastest growing cells; hair, lining of the stomach, blood, and hopefully the cancer. I lost all my hair. Because the lining of my stomach was always dieing I was often sick. Because chemo kills the blood this means my immune system was down, white blood cells fight sickness and I had few, and the ones I did have seemed to be retarded. This meant if I got sick, even a little, I was in the hospital.
On top of the side effects the ways that chemo is administered is a blast too. I had to have my blood taken every time I was near the doctor’s, I had to have thousands of shots, I had a few bone marrow tests, I had tons of spinal taps, not to mention hospital stays for long treatments. I can go into a lot of detail, but you probably would get grossed out, or you wouldn’t understand and I’d have to break out the “Helper Puppets.” Most likely, you get the gist of it anyway
I basically felt physically horrible all the time. It was like I had a bad flu that wouldn’t go away. I was weak, tired, sick, hungry, nauseous, and some things I don’t know what to call. But I didn’t mind. It is kind of strange to say, but that is the truth. From around day two I had an understanding: One was that I was saved; if I died I would have eternity to spend in heaven, so that wasn’t bad, and two was that I knew then that God had a plan for me. There was nothing I could do about having cancer except live and take chemo, and there were days that I would have been happy to die on. But over all I loved having cancer. Well, I didn’t love the cancer part, but I loved what God was doing in my life. He was setting me apart; He was letting me see and understand things that people 3 times my age have no idea about. I got to see a truly dark side of life, but I am so thankful because not everyone gets to see it. God showed me his love thru my family and my church family. I had people praying for me all over the world. My grandfather told me that someone prayed for me while on the Sea of Galilee. And overall, God was setting my life up to be one that could worship him.
Webster’s defines Worship as to regard with great or extravagant respect, honor, or devotion. It is just that. We have all seen how fans of celebrities go crazy. Some of you have witnessed how people faint from extreme desire and adoration when I enter a room. We’ve all seen those people that are totally devoted to the point of almost going insane. That is worship. It isn’t about what we say or how we act around people; it isn’t songs we sing or a style of music and it is not reserved to a few hours one day a week. It is about our hearts, it is about our minds, and it is about our soul. We have the mindset that if we sing a song and close are eyes and lift our hands then we are worshiping. And we have trained our minds to think that worship is something that is for our benefit. Worship is when I live my life flat on my face. When I regard God with great devotion, when I am devoted to Him, I walk with an understanding that He is a Holy Sovereign God, and I am nothing. And because He never leaves me, why should I stop worshiping Him? How can my extravagant respect for God be summed up in a few songs? It can’t. So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Cor. 10:31. My life has to reflect my heart of worship; otherwise my singing is in vain.
Before I had cancer I was living a life that wasn’t worshiping God. It looked that way on the outside, but on the inside it was hollow. I was worshiping other things, and in that I was miserable. C.S. Lewis said, “Fully to enjoy is to glorify. In commanding us to glorify Him, God is inviting us to enjoy Him.” It is amazing to me how God works. I have to admit I don’t understand half of what I think I understand. But God allowed, or made me have cancer because he wanted my attention. I was rudely awoken to life, and there was a whole lot more to it than what my dreams told me. He was saying, “Wake Up!” I didn’t like being woken like that, but once I was awake I saw the day, and it was much better than anything my fragile scattered dreams could have sewn together. God had to get my focus on Him because he wanted me to understand true happiness. Happiness in a life that was His. I have trouble picking out my own clothes, but God knows what is good for my whole life. I am compelled to worship Him because I have an understanding of His great love.
God wants your attention. He wants you awake to see this day, this life he has created. Some of you hear the alarm clock and you keep pressing snooze. I would much rather have gotten out of bed before Dad woke me up. I would much rather have had my attention on God the entire time than have to go through chemotherapy. I urge you to wake up. God wants you enough to make you miserable.

I would implore other Christians to post there testimony.

Taylor and Ben

2005-04-26T00:10:00.000-07:00

I miss working with Ben.

Progress

2005-04-22T01:19:00.000-07:00

This is a 'Big Zombie Japanese Beetle (from Denmark). My Friend Mike Lopez is doing the artwork for a Kids' book I have written. this is one character.

VOTE...

2005-04-22T00:29:00.000-07:00

for my Jones Soda label. Vote Here!
Thank you.

Bees

2005-04-21T17:56:00.000-07:00

i saw a swarm of bees today outside of work. it was crazy. like out of some movie.
i didn't get that job i wanted so i am bummed about that. my knee hurts.

thanks for your time.

Bleak

2005-04-19T00:09:00.000-07:00

There is no remembrance of men of old, and even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow.
-Ecclesiastes 1:11

I think lately i've found that searching for more stuff, more information, more movies, more fun, more gadgets, more praise, and more prestige does really nothing in the end. I am nothing; a candle in the universe. any point i try to make, even this one here, will be lost in the span of time. If it had any worth to begin with it would already be gone.
Let me interject and say that i am pounding out some sad and dismal revelation, and i have not hit bottom on some emotional pit (in fact, i am enjoying life right now). all the "more" stuff listed above is really not more of anything. it doesn't change the fact that one day all that stuff just won't matter. all that good stuff, and i do mean the very good stuff not just the nice tangable, but the wonderful intangables as well, all of it will be gone some day. And when i try to fill myself on that, really try and satisfy "the" hunger, i always have to go back for more. trying to make something eternal out of those things is as futile as trying to bail water out of a sinking boat with a child's bubble wand.

But Christ is not ephemeral, and one day there will be no more growing tired of things that so quickly become objects that collect debris and fallen skin. And ideas and ideals that so tightly held or minds and hearts will be exchanged for Truth as Truth sees itself. We will know Intangable Eternal, we won't waste time watching the all the temporary intangables, burn away in corroded rust. He will put an end to the vainity of everything, and bring a world new forever and wholely complete. And He will bring us into the only thing worth having worth: Himself.

When i look at all that i see around me, i don't run from it, and i am not ashamed by it. But in light of who God is what does anything else matter?

my head

2005-04-17T23:45:00.000-07:00

it hurts. not too badly.
i am done with a website that i have been working on for some time now. i can't say that i am supremely pleased with it, but i did have to make it for someone else. i do appologize.

ScriPicsTM

i like it...

2005-04-14T11:12:00.000-07:00

i am working on thinking about redoing my blog (as far as you can tell, it has undergone some already.
Until then you can look at this picture of my brother.

Change

2005-04-12T23:43:00.000-07:00

i surmise i am at the commencement of some perceptible semblance transition.

work

2005-04-12T12:52:00.000-07:00

i have to work in a few minutes. i am wanting to not have this job not so much anymore.

Memory Maps

2005-04-09T23:50:00.000-07:00

can you guess what this is a picture of?

Check out some my pictures for good memories.

pictures

2005-04-07T23:59:00.000-07:00

you can see some pictures here.

Waahoo.

2005-04-06T23:30:00.000-07:00

i don't know what the deal is with me titling my recent entries with onomatopoeian exclamations, but as they say, oh well.

ebay and Five Iron Frenzy have made me very happy tonight. i just got some stickers and patches that i had ordered. and now i have to find a wonderful place to store them until i have a permenant place to put them. if i put them on my car it means that my car will break down. (you don't know how many times this has really happened). i need to get a new back hatch for my '94 VW golf. if ou have one let me know.